Love them through it

Published 9:17 am Sunday, October 13, 2019

By Candida Sullivan


No one ever wants to become an addict. It happens slowly and often sneaks up on us. I believe every addiction starts with pain. The moment we feel the pain, then we start searching for a way to get rid of the pain. Different people have different coping methods. Some people are addicted to food, some are addicted to shopping or scrolling on social media, while others become addicted to drugs, etc.

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We all have triggers. When we feel the trigger, then we do the action. After a while, we do this unconsciously. This is why we become addicted. So often we destroy our lives, without even realizing what we are doing to ourselves.

From the outside looking in, it can be so easy to judge other people’s addictions. Especially when we try to make it about us. When we think that our loved one is choosing drugs over spending time with us, then it breaks our hearts. When we think we are just not enough, otherwise they wouldn’t turn to drugs, then we create a story in our minds about the situation. The story we create about why they do it is what causes the pain.

The truth is they are consumed by pain. Your loved one doesn’t know how to overcome the pain. In the depths of their hearts, I don’t believe that anyone wants to be consumed by any type of addiction. They are just trying to survive—another moment, another breath.

We have two choices. We can either judge them and condemn them for their actions, heaping even more pain onto their lives, or we can love them right where they are in their lives. We can choose to pray for them and to love them unconditionally. Every day, with our love, we can give them a glimpse of hope.

Imagine one day, they are able to overcome it all. What is their testimony about how you treated them during the darkest time of their lives? Do you want them to say that you turned your back on them? Or do you want them to say that you loved them through it all and gave them a little glimpse of God along the way? I use this to help me to choose love and compassion every day.

If I was addicted to something that was destroying my life, I would want my family to love me through it all and to pray for me. So that is what I extend out to my loved ones. I want to love others the way God loves me. When I make a mistake, God doesn’t turn His back on me. He comes and sits with me in the trenches of my life, and loves me through it all.

Candida Sullivan is an award-winning author, inspirational speaker, and certified life coach. Her book, Despite Your Circumstances, won the 2016 CSPA book of the year award. It is her passion to help others learn to overcome their own circumstances. She lives in Tennessee with her husband and children. If you’d like to contact her, please email her at