PALAVERING WITH BEULAH: A series of misfortune

Published 10:48 pm Monday, June 28, 2021

By Beulah Rampage Fishbite

Yesterday was a real series of unfortunate events.  They were not really sad or devastating, but they came one right after another stumbling upon each other like it was a race to rattle me.  In the end, after damages were totaled, holding breath and counting to ten was all over, I won.  There were no balloons, ribbons or finish line, but I felt like there should have been.  It started when I pulled on a clean shirt, my favorite.  Teal colored and so comfortable, well, it used to be.  I wore it last week when a friend cut my hair and it seems some of the hair became embedded in the neck seam so it was able to poke the fire out of me all day.

Next, I made my morning coffee.  The cup of choice today was my last Cumberland Gap mug from the one and only Gap Creek Coffee House.  I filled it with heady black brew and added some creamer this time.  I turned to put the creamer away and when I turned back my elbow smacked the Gap Creek cup and sent it flying.  Coffee with cream was on the counter, stove, cupboard front and floor.  The cup dramatically smashed on the floor – gone.  I cleaned up the coffee – remember I am in a wheelchair.  This screen must have been funny, but I was mourning the loss of my cup and being poked in the neck by my hairy favorite shirt.  On with the day.

Things went smooth for a bit.  A friend comes by and helps me out from time to time.  On this Lemony Snicket’s kind of day she appeared.  We visited, ate strawberries, she helped me with a few tasks and took a load of laundry to the washroom for me.  I usually sort my laundry and am careful with it, I do not like to wash towels and cleaning rags with my clothes.  Because there was so little I told her to just take it all.  Half a basket.  I was not paying attention and in there was a piece of fabric I used as a tablecloth – red plaid.  Last night I folded my clean, pink laundry.  I will not tell her what happened, although she will notice eventually.

Each evening I I work at my computer.  Either writing or watching YouTube programs.  Last night I had my usual cup of hot tea and a plate of ginger snaps.  I was watching the old English program “All Creatures Great and Small”.  Also, in my lap I was crocheting on a Christmas present.  The ball of yarn jumped right out of my lap onto the floor.  I reached to grab it, caught the tea up which took the precariously placed plate of gingersnaps with it to the floor.  All was smashed, even the gingersnaps.  Once again, the clean-up with hair poking my neck through-out.  And while I was sopping up tea and cookies, the ball of yarn was wrapping itself around the small front wheel of “Blackie II” (wheelchair).  So, now my pretty little green cup with the red chilis on it was gone.  Steering was a joke, and my daily allotment of gingersnaps was exhausted.

When I finally got in bed, I had to throw Blackie II on his side, good thing I am a trained cowboy, it was like throwing a steer to brand.  But, once down, Blackie II collapsed into the folded position.  So, I first got all the orange yarn out, next I wrestled the folded steer up and expanded it once more, locked it in place and patted him good night.  Nice part was I had shed the shair shirt for PJs.